School of Culinary Misadventure

• A.A.S. in Spaghetti Hot Dog Engineering

• A.A.S. in Advanced Noodle Insertion Technology

• A.A.S. in Frankfurter Infrastructure

• Certificate in Applied Pantry Archaeology

• Certificate in Emergency Dinner Assembly

Featured Courses

• SPHD 101 — Introduction to Spaghetti Hot Dogs

• SPHD 131 — Spoon Liquidation Tactics

• SPHD 204 — Sauce Logistics

• SPHD 231 — Hot Dog Threading Practicum

• SPHD 290 — Capstone: Feeding Eight People with One Pack of Franks

School of Trading Card Hoarding Sciences

• A.A.S. in Trading Card Hoarding

• A.A.S. in Applied Binder Management

• A.A.S. in Cardboard Asset Preservation

• Certificate in Rare Holographic Studies

• Certificate in Bulk Common Storage Solutions

Featured Courses

• TCHD 100 — Introduction to "I'll Organize Them Later"

• TCHD 130 — Advanced Sleeve and Toploader Technology

• TCHD 205 — Economics of Buying Twelve Booster Boxes for One Card

• TCHD 240 — Closet Capacity Planning

• TCHD 275 — Estate Planning for Collections Nobody Understands

Internship Opportunities

• Sorting 50,000 unsleeved commons.

• Explaining to relatives that they're "an investment."

Department of Filipino History and Legendary Family Stories

• A.A.S. in Filipino History

• A.A.S. in Comparative Island Lore

• Certificate in Spanish Colonial Side Quests

• Certificate in Advanced Tita Studies

Featured Courses

• FILH 101 — 7,000+ Islands and One Very Long Group Project

• FILH 150 — The History of Karaoke Dominance

• FILH 210 — Ancient Maritime Navigation and Modern Family Reunions

• FILH 260 — Why Every Family Knows Somebody Who Knows Somebody

• FILH 299 — Capstone: Bringing Enough Food for Everyone

College of Banana Technology

• A.A.S. in Banana Technology

• A.A.S. in Applied Peel Sciences

• A.A.S. in Tropical Fruit Systems Engineering

• Certificate in Slippery Surface Risk Management

Featured Courses

• BANA 101 — Foundations of Banana Technology

• BANA 120 — Ripeness Forecasting Models

• BANA 201 — Industrial Banana Logistics

• BANA 240 — Peel Disposal Engineering

• BANA 280 — Capstone: Building a Better Banana Holder

Research Areas

• High-performance lunchbox packing.

• Preventing bananas from becoming backpack pudding.

• Theoretical square bananas.

School of Gambling Sciences

• A.A.S. in Roulette Studies

• A.A.S. in Applied Gambling Theory

• A.A.S. in Casino Floor Navigation

• A.A.S. in Advanced Loss Recovery Excuses

• A.A.S. in Probability Denial

• A.A.S. in Sports Betting Emotional Management

• A.A.S. in Slot Machine Acoustics

• A.A.S. in Professional "One More Spin" Studies

Certificate Programs

• Certified Roulette Wheel Observer

• Certificate in Lucky Shirt Preservation

• Applied Coin Flip Analytics

• Introductory Casino Carpet Appreciation

• Advanced Pocket Change Deployment

• Minor in "Trust Me, I Have a System"

Featured Courses

• GMBL 110 — Fundamentals of "I'm Due for a Win"

• GMBL 140 — Casino Snack Logistics

• RLET 201 — Advanced Wheel Watching

• STAT 225 — Creative Interpretations of Probability

• GMBL 250 — Applied Superstition

Electives

• Poker Face Maintenance

• Blackjack Hand Gesture Communication

• Slot Machine Button Timing

• The History of "I Almost Won"

• Introduction to Cryptic Horse Names

• Comparative Lucky Charms

Capstone Project

Students must design and defend one of the following:

• A roulette system that definitely works this time.

• A spreadsheet proving they are "basically breaking even."

• A twenty-page paper titled:
  "Why My Last Nine Losses Were Actually Part of the Plan."

The Lapulapu College of Higher Studies

• A.A. in Applied Geometric Mysticism

• A.A. in Illumination History

• A.A. in Herbal and Spice Sciences

Featured Courses

• GEOM 101 — Introduction to Shapes

• GEOM 120 — Geometry Mastermind

• HIST 140 — Candles and Civilization

• HIST 218 — Lightbulbius Jordan

• ELEC 225 — Great Inventors Who May Not Have Existed

• AGRI 224 — Oregano Sphere

• PHYS 240 — Rotational Seasoning Mechanics

Career Paths

• Independent geometric consultant

• Lamp historian

• Spice systems engineer

Honors Program

Students who maintain a 4.0 GPA may enroll in:

• HONR 401 — Trading a Rare Card for Three Bananas and a Hot Dog

• HONR 420 — Comparative Studies in Pasta, Produce, and Collectibles

• HONR 450 — Filipino Maritime Trade and the Historical Movement of Bananas

• HONR 499 — Senior Thesis:

  • "A Systems Analysis of Spaghetti Hot Dogs as an Emerging Asset Class."

Final Thesis Examples

• The Geometric Properties of Bananas

• Lightbulbius Jordan and the Invention of Trading Cards

• Oregano Sphere Theory in Filipino Maritime History

• Spaghetti Hot Dogs as a Medium of Cultural Exchange

• A Roulette Strategy Based Entirely on Herb Geometry

College Motto

"Knowledge. Hoarding. Potassium."